Can anyone finish this poem? I think I have writer’s block?

May 24, 2010 by admin  
Filed under Black Onyx Ring

serenely, soMEone asked:


A tale engraved on Onyx Rings
that moves as graceful as the wings
of Angels, left us now, alone
and empty in our Earthen homes

The story tells of lives lived well
and dreams awash in wishing wells
of paper dolls and crayoned walls
and how we all forget

Lean in and listen as it brings
to life these long-forgotten things
that trap us, deep, in Onyx Rings
compiled of all those childhood dreams
of Queens and Kings and lesser things

We enter life without our voice
and little, since, has been our choice
But Kings, we'll be and Queens set free
Though all will fall
like Autumn leaves

You'll never be forgotten...

...

That's as far as I've gotten.

My sister passed away last week. I'm writing this for my nephews, her sons.

Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

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Comments

6 Responses to “Can anyone finish this poem? I think I have writer’s block?”
  1. Nintendo DS says:

    Home Theater Systems

    I’m sorry for your loss.

    I personally think it sounds finished. “Though all will fall like autumn leaves”. I’d leave it just the way it is.

    Very beautifully written by the way.

  2. Free Car History Report

    Perhaps it’s finished, or maybe it didn’t end up the way you intended it. Leave it as is, and approach the subject from a different perspective and start another poem. I’m sure your family will be touched nonetheless, and I am very sorry for your loss.

  3. Mens Jewelry says:

    Classic Cars

    First of all I wish to send you my heart felt emotional care and concern for the loss of your dear departed sister, May She Rest In Peace.

    You’ll never be forgotten, my Queen,
    Blessed was my life, given and seen.
    Alwalys in our hearts, memories of you,
    From heaven you watch, perfect view.

  4. Mens Gold Bracelets

    My condolences, again, but no less sincerely. It’s beautiful, and I’m with Lilblonde: I think that’s a good end, though for punch, I might tail the last line down to ‘Never forgotten.’ Or you could wind up the thought with the realities of those memories. IE:

    Time may dull and life may fade
    the sweet and bitter moments made
    together through our lives, that forged a world,
    and filled it up with love, and tears, and laughter.
    all the little things of life well-lived,
    well-loved, whatever may come after.
    These endure forever.

  5. How to Get Pregnant

    i to beleive this sounds finished and very lovely,i didn’t know you have so many tallents.

  6. Nintendo DS

    It is perfect, and complete.

    Don’t add or change a word.

    Take care

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